From Overwhelm to Calm: A Guide to Managing Postpartum Anxiety.
According to Postpartum International, one in five women and one in ten men experience anxiety during the perinatal period. These numbers might be much higher as lots of parents tend to suffer in silence due to the mental health stigma or societal pressure. Post Postpartum anxiety can either accompany or follow postpartum depression. Postpartum anxiety has been getting more attention recently. You might experience these symptoms: constant worries, feeling that something bad might happen, racing thoughts, difficulties falling asleep even when the baby sleeps, not feeling hungry, or eating a lot. You might feel too scared to be alone with the baby or leave the house, worrying, having an anxiety attack, or feeling dizzy and light-headed. Postpartum anxiety can also go together with the symptoms of debilitating and extremely uncomfortable symptoms of panic attacks, such as having trouble breathing, chest pain, feeling trapped or panicked, feeling dizzy, your heart racing, and tingling or numbness in your hands or feet.
What causes postpartum anxiety? There are a lot of things that can make a mom more likely to experience postpartum anxiety. For example, if you don't have much support from your partner or close friends, it can make everything much harder. Also, if you've gone through painful experiences in the past, that can impact how you cope after having a baby. Having complications during pregnancy or having a traumatic birth can also increase your risk of having postpartum anxiety. Biological factors like having a thyroid imbalance can also impact how you feel. If you struggled with feeling good about yourself before becoming a mom, the postpartum period could put you in a vulnerable place, feeling like you are not a good enough mom. What is also important if you experience systemic barriers as a single parent or you are part of a queer or trans family can also impact your worry level.
When to Seek Help?
Postpartum anxiety can feel scary, overwhelming, and lonely, but you do not have to go through it alone and without support. The good news is that postpartum anxiety is treatable, and there is a path to feel calmness and peace in your mind. The question is, how do you understand when you need help? This is a good question, since whether you are a first-time parent or this is your third baby, it is normal to go through the adjustment period, feeling stressed and having some doubts. The answer is if the worries stay with you most of the day and impact your bonding with the baby and relationship with the partner. Or you notice that you constantly feel scared or stressed, and it’s hard for you to have a break from it. Or if you notice that because of your fears, you started avoiding certain activities: being with the baby alone, getting outside, or isolating yourself- that's another sign it might be time to reach out for help. As a postpartum therapist, I hear a lot from my clients about how these worries can be paralyzing.
Practical Strategies to Manage Postpartum Anxiety
What are the practical strategies that might help to decrease the intensity of postpartum anxiety?
1. Acknowledge your feelings. First things first, it’s important to acknowledge what you are dealing with. Postpartum anxiety is a real thing and needs treatment and support the same way a person with diabetes needs treatment and specific routines. Of course, it’s easier said than done; acknowledgment cannot be made in a vacuum; you need another human to validate what you are going through. It can be a therapist specializing in working with postpartum moms, or it can be a specialized support group for moms. Acknowledging is the hardest thing to do, although it sounds very easy.
2. Break the Cycle of Isolation. The second thing that comes from the first one is to break the cycle of isolation. Anxiety loves four walls; anxiety thrives when we are alone with our thoughts, and anxiety wants us to think that our thoughts are the reality. Anxiety wants you to stay inside. Find some local support groups. You can find free online groups through Postpartum Support International. You can ask your ob-gyn or pediatrician if they know some local support groups.
3. Get Outside. The third thing is the continuation of the second one: get outside. Make sure you have a comfortable stroller or baby carrier so it’s easy for you to get outside. Remind yourself about the importance of going outside every day. You might not have the desire to go outside and that’s okay. In the same way, you remind yourself to brush your teeth so as not to get cavities, remind yourself to get outside, and how it helps to feel less anxious.
4. Prioritize Sleep. The fourth thing is to prioritize your sleep. Sleep when your baby sleeps. I know, I know, you’ve heard this many times, but you need to do your dishes, swipe the floor, do your laundry, and the list continues. Yes, you are right; your to-do list will not get smaller, and you can do all these house chores and feel sleep-deprived. As long you are sleep deprived, that is what will make good condition for your anxiety to grow. Try to prioritize your sleep.
5. Reassess Social Media Use. The last one is to try to re-evaluate the impact of social media on your anxiety. If your Instagram scroll brings you sadness, activates your inner critique, or makes you feel you are not good enough, Mom, that’s important. If you find yourself comparing what you did with your baby throughout the day or how you look or feel to influencers, it’s time to reassess this activity, whether they help you heal or do the opposite makes your anxious part very loud. Remind yourself before going to social media that every one in five women experiences postpartum anxiety, and what you just see is just a snip of motherhood but definitely not a full picture.
You Deserve Support. As what I read so far resonates with you, and you might realize that you might need more support with your postpartum anxiety, I will be honored to be there. My name is Yuliya Golubev; I am a bilingual therapist NYC therapist who helps mothers like you who feel overwhelmed and alone. Together, we will have a deep dive into your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations to understand your anxiety better, how it tries to scare you, what makes your anxious part too loud, and what makes unbearable conditions for your anxiety. Together, we will try to understand what message your anxiety is trying to tell. We will try to have a dialogue with your anxiety. Let's start building support together and bringing peace to your mind. Postpartum anxiety may feel overwhelming, and you deserve to get help.
References:
1 Karen R. Kleiman MSW, LCSW and Valerie Davis Raskin, MD. This isn't what I expected. Overcoming postpartum depression, 2013
2. Postpartum Support International. https://www.postpartum.net/
