Three Ways To Emotionally Prepare Yourself For Asking For A Raise
You have been working so hard for this year. You took several initiatives at work and showed excellent outcomes in projects. The day came, and you said to yourself, I need to ask for raise. As soon as you said, you noticed some butterflies in your stomach. You also caught a thought running through your head, what if I hear no as an answer. Another realization popped up, I am not ready yet, and it is not the right time.
So let's start normalizing this experience. The first thing first is that it is normal to feel anxious when you think about it. Anxiety comes when the situation is novel and you do not know the particular outcome. Your fear has a protective force. It acts like the helicopter parent who worries about the child and does not let the child take a risk. The helicopter parent has the "best intention," but these intentions are not so helpful for child development. Instead of suppressing your anxiety or feeling frustrated with yourself why you experience it, try to befriend it and appreciate it. Say thank you for showing up and expressing your concerns. Ask your anxious part what kind of support does it need from you through this process.
A second way to consider is that you never will find yourself ready for one hundred percent. If you wait to be fully prepared, you might wait for a long time. Notice two parallel processes emerging at the same time: asking for a raise and feeling anxious. Feeling anxious does not mean that you are not ready. Allow your anxiety to hang out with you. Imagine anxiety like a wave, ride a wave. Another way to normalize this journey is to ask yourself a question. What would I say to a friend who is about asking for a raise and feeling anxious? You will probably tell your friend that feeling anxious is okay and do not let it stop you. I hardly doubt you will say to your friend, do not even think about it since you are not ready because you are anxious.
Another helpful tip when you feel anxious asking for a raise is facing your worst fear hypothetically. What does it mean? Ask yourself a question. What is the worst thing that could happen if I ask for a raise? What if I hear no? If you will get no as an answer, how would you cope with it? Treat hearing no as not your failure but somewhat helpful information. Answer no means that you might start considering alternative revenues to get a raise. Answer no means this particular outlet might not bring you what you want. Answer no means are you connected to reality and not living in a fantasy world when you see yourself getting a raise.
After reading these tips, if you are found yourself you need more individualized support, schedule a free 15-minute consultation call with me to learn more about how I can help navigate career challenges.
